Hotel Design: Who Took The Soap?

Our recent overnight stay at a three year old boutique hotel in New York City reminded us of a few things we've been meaning to note:

* How do you tell the European tourists from their American counterparts, aside from the from their being much thinner? The Euros are the ones in colored sneakers or trainers, while the Americans are wearing the new white athletic shoes, which look as though they've never been used. They haven't.

* The exception to that rule are German tourists, who are the worst-dressed of the Europeans. When you see a couple wearing sandals, with socks, those are the Germans. Do we know why the wealthiest Europeans dress so poorly that they are easily mistaken for Americans? Nein.



* Apparently, all contemporary hotel room-designers share a strange trait; they wear glasses while taking a shower. How else could we explain the tiny print on the small containers of shampoo, conditioner, and something called bath gel in the showers? We are getting a little tired of washing our hair with conditioner and covering ourselves in oily shampoo instead of soap! Bath gel? Whose idea was that! What was wrong with having a bar of soap in the shower? Worked for hundreds of years; get it back, please

Water Hazard

* Speaking of hotel showers. Remember when hotel showers had one water source, hanging from above? Now many hotel showers come equipped with six spigots or more! Depending on your height, this could be dangerous to your bodily health, not to mention that we need a manual to figure out how to turn on that single source. Figuring out how to use the shower, however, does give us time to read the small containers while still wearing our glasses.

* Can we talk about hotel Heat/AC units without using four letter words, and we don't mean w-o-r-k  w-e-l-l? Those thick quilts on the beds are there for use in July, when the AC insists on a room temperature of around 57'F. And those windows that actually open a crack? Those are for use in January, when the Heat unit has gone on intimate-dry cycle. Our most recent room used a point and click system, in which we  ( well, one of us, anyway) pointed a remote at the ceiling-hung unit in each of three rooms. You've heard of Four Seasons Hotels? Well, we had Three Seasons going in our living room, bedroom and bath. The bath had the only temperate zone.

* Having so many European tourists benefits New York City's economy and we're glad to have them. But, it's high time that we taught them how to walk in the city. A stroll is not a walk. Come to think of it, we need to train the American tourists as well, who are breaking in those new white sneakers at snails' pace.

Several years ago, while advising a hotel group about their room design, we suggested a solution for this problem: place sidewalk walking instructions on every hotel room door, just like the required fire safety and hotel rate notices: 1) Keep to the right. Always walk on the right side of sidewalks. 2) "Strolling" is not allowed on sidewalks; stroll in parks and museums only.  3) Walk at a "brisk" pace on sidewalks at all times, just as the locals do. 3) If you have not exercised in many years, and you know who you are, we strongly suggest use of an all-day pass on the subway system.

* What will all of these Manhattan boutique hotels with contemporary European design and style do, when the wave of actual European tourists subsides? Sadly, this day must come, and soon, due to EU economic difficulties and the weakening of the Euro itself? Will China provide the next tourist wave? Will they want  their hotel rooms to reflect their own familiar style? How do you say "renovation costs" in Mandarin?

* How do you spot a European tourist in a NYC restaurant? They are the only ones paying for bottled water.